“Madonna flashed her breast in Istanbul? Big deal. She was doing that back when it was called Constantinople.” (Frank Lesser)
“I go through life with the mind of a child and the body of an 80 year-old alcoholic.” (Dan Wilbur)
“My favorite part of going to the beach is deciding it might rain and hanging out somewhere with air conditioning.” (Josh Gondelman)
“I get sad when I see all the people in my address book who have died. Maybe I should stop murdering them.” (Peter-John Byrnes)
“‘Oh, I don’t snore.’ –people who snore” (Ken Jennings)
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